THE KILLER JOKE

Arturo is the boy on the left. This was his very first campout, a backpacking trip to Lost Maples Natural Area in the Texas hill country. The year was 1985.

You see, Arturo was special because he was the first Scout who joined our troop who did not speak English. He had only been in this country for a month or so, just enough time to pick up his first English words. He got them from a Michael J. Fox movie, “Teen Wolf.”

It happened when we were heading home, just after we turned south on FM 1623 from Stonewall, Texas. (insert “Jaws” theme here) Suddenly he pushed his fingers up into his hair and, like an exited toddler, announced his brand new words…Teen Wolf! And he sort of looked like a teenage werewolf!

Everybody started laughing, so he did it again. And again. I started laughing, too, so I pulled off the side of the road. The side doors of the van popped open and the passengers spilled out onto the grass—ROFL, except it was RIGL (rolling in the grass laughing). It was very contagious, and we were parked there over 20 minutes before the effect of Arturo’s first English words had run its course.

We’ve had a few ROFL spells since, but have yet to top this. What’s the funniest thing that ever happened in your troop?

THE CASE OF THE POWER RINGS

It’s so often that bit of silliness that makes a high-adventure trip so memorable.

On our way to the Weminuche Wilderness in Colorado, we made a stop at Alabaster Caverns in Oklahoma. The caverns were closed at that time while a new lighting system was being installed, so the boys would not have the usual pictures as souvenirs.

Undaunted, Paul, Brian, and Dayle bought these cheap plastic “power rings” that were in the Alabaster gift shop. Where I might have bought a useful postcard or an item of real Native American craft, boys are not so discerning. What kind of power this dollar’s worth of plastic scrap lends the wearer, I’ll never be sure, but the boys did “battle” with the rings far into the next state.

After our backpacking portion of the trip, we spent a relaxing day on the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. The train climbs from Durango to Silverton, where it makes a 2-hour lunch layover before returning. We ate lunch in a historic hotel in Silverton, where some of the boys ordered their first buffalo burgers.

While waiting for the food to arrive, 17-year-old Paul came from the restroom and approached me with this puppy-like pleading look on his face.

“Mr. K,” he said, “I dropped my power ring in the toilet!”

“What do want me to do about it?” I asked. It was clear that he expected me to go in there and get it.

“I didn’t realize until it was too late,” Paul explained, “but if I flush it, the ring might go all the way down!”

Poor, poor Paul! We all had a good laugh. Oh what kinds of favors the Scouts expect of their leaders! This time Paul would just have to say goodbye to that ring.

Someday we’ll go to Alabaster Caverns again and buy Paul another ring… then send it to him at his Navy A.P.O.!

Here’s one of those situations where the boys temporarily bypass the literal interpretation of the 11th point of the Scout Law. But that’s okay.

WHEN SCOUTS ARE ANYTHING BUT “CLEAN”

There was a surprise waiting for us at Camp Urland (Three Rivers Council, Woodville, TX). A recent flood had washed out the dam. What had been a perfectly good fishing and canoeing lake was nothing but a slippery, slimy mud pit. Canoeing was off of the schedule. In addition, the weather that January weekend was chilly and drizzly. Apparently whatever else the Senior Patrol Leader had planned was no good in rain.

When I was a boy, we would have sat around in our tents playing cards and complaining about the weather. But not these guys! They started a game of “Follow the Leader” in the empty lake—jumping, sliding, and tumbling after each other, through all of that muck. After more than two hours of this, they came back to camp covered in so much mud they looked like giant chocolate bunnies. Thank goodness the camp had cold water showers in each campsite!

I do not remember anything else about this campout. I suppose it was well worth getting so unclean, just so that this outing would be memorable.